And my answer may surprise you: widowers are some of they best, most eligible, grownup men out there. Well, for starters, a man who had a good, long marriage can be a great catch! But they developed great communication and worked through them. You don’t know the situation – maybe she was sick a long time which often means he’s ready to start new…learn his story, don’t make assumptions. I can’t even imagine the agony of living through that at any time of one’s life; certainly any time before, say, our 80s.
And when it’s gone, he’s left with the kids (maybe) and his job (maybe). So if he knows what he wants and is ready for love again, he takes his search for a new partner seriously – and that’s the gem of dating a widower. But, as with all of those other big life experiences, being widowed isn’t the end of the story. Together they are traveling the world and running marathons. And it’s not like she had to ‘make him’ do it – he loved adding that to his life! Some have remained in great relationships with them (like Karen above).
Most have not, because of the very issues you have raised. My advice here is to a woman who has met one of the “gems” that I introduced to you at the start of this article: one who had a good, long marriage…knows how to love, communicate, commit, work through problems …misses being married…pours himself into [a relationship].
(Meaning a relationship with HER.) It is to This Man — the one who knows how to love and is ready to do it again — that I advise a woman to extend kindness, patience and empathy.
Your husband chose you because he loves you- don’t lose sight of that!
If you battle with insecurities about whether or not your husband does or will ever love you as much as he loved his late wife, then resenting her pictures or personal possessions from their marriage in your house may seem like an important point of issue to you.